Emma, this is such an important article. I think an under explored effort is in prevention and your identification of red flags and warning signs is right on target. It should be made into an oversized refrigerator magnet and stuck on every refrigerator around the world.
My only observation is that grooming from my perspective IS a tactic of abuse. It is a necessary building block in having the leverage to inflict additional tactics of abuse. It is psychophysiological abuse as it will induce a unidirectional, abuser induced hyper-attachment, sometimes called a trauma bond. IMO, the kiss is as much a tactic of abuse as the kick.
Finally, Joanna is amazing and brave. I salute her. This is why we tell our stories, in the hopes that it will help other people. She can rest assured knowing that she helped perhaps 20K plus people by sharing her story.
Thank you, Emma, for all that you do. You are truly a bright light and you have my deep respect and admiration.
I agree that this is such a useful summary of the sorts of behaviours that get this phenomenon underway. We hear often that coercive control is a pattern of abusive (correct), and IMPORTANTLY this is a pattern of behaviours that show how it STARTS, and how different in nature those behaviours are... that falling for them doesn't mean that you were stupid, especially as it wasn't a 'thing' 30 years ago! More like you just hit a purple patch, and got lucky in love!!
The value of this is inestimable for educating the public and women who may fall prey to it. It would have saved me, not only the misery of decades of abusive controlling confusing behaviour, but also my substantial personal wealth and career. That money now would make my life very comfortable indeed!
Emma, this is such an important article. I think an under explored effort is in prevention and your identification of red flags and warning signs is right on target. It should be made into an oversized refrigerator magnet and stuck on every refrigerator around the world.
My only observation is that grooming from my perspective IS a tactic of abuse. It is a necessary building block in having the leverage to inflict additional tactics of abuse. It is psychophysiological abuse as it will induce a unidirectional, abuser induced hyper-attachment, sometimes called a trauma bond. IMO, the kiss is as much a tactic of abuse as the kick.
Finally, Joanna is amazing and brave. I salute her. This is why we tell our stories, in the hopes that it will help other people. She can rest assured knowing that she helped perhaps 20K plus people by sharing her story.
Thank you, Emma, for all that you do. You are truly a bright light and you have my deep respect and admiration.
I agree that this is such a useful summary of the sorts of behaviours that get this phenomenon underway. We hear often that coercive control is a pattern of abusive (correct), and IMPORTANTLY this is a pattern of behaviours that show how it STARTS, and how different in nature those behaviours are... that falling for them doesn't mean that you were stupid, especially as it wasn't a 'thing' 30 years ago! More like you just hit a purple patch, and got lucky in love!!
The value of this is inestimable for educating the public and women who may fall prey to it. It would have saved me, not only the misery of decades of abusive controlling confusing behaviour, but also my substantial personal wealth and career. That money now would make my life very comfortable indeed!